I Need One of Those Drinks With a Tiny Umbrella

You know you don't get out much or get much R&R time when little things start adding up and ruining your every day existence.  Things that really shouldn't matter.  Things that make you consider murdering your husband, throwing the cats outside (as if), and burning your entire wardrobe.

Don't understand?  Lets see if this helps, if you're even still reading.

The following are things that pushed me to fits of shaking my pudgy fists at the sky and almost calling my husband at work to "properly express myself".  In reality very few of these couldn't be resolved with a simple 5 minute chore or a few deep breaths.

1.  While playing on the floor with Sam I keep finding toe nail clippings on the carpet.
2.  The ashtray was not put out the last time we had friends over and so our deck/yard has stray cigarette butts scattered about.
3.  I keep finding dirty socks tucked in between and underneath things because my husband is an animal.
4.  Is it really so hard to shut a kitchen drawer or a cabinet door once you have gotten what you needed?
5.  Does Weena have to pull down towels/coats/clothes from hampers to make nests?
6.  The high chair is not a good place to stack your folded laundry.  Upstairs is.
7.  Pick a designated place to put your shoes when you take them off.  Preferably not in my walking path.  Especially since I'm usually carrying a baby which even further limits my visibility.
8.  Belt buckles hurt when you step on them.
9.  Cufflinks ".
10.  Do I have to use a label maker to mark which one is my toothbrush?
11.  When having family time can I please walk away to use the bathroom without a panicked "What are you doing?  Where are you going?  You're coming back, right?"
12.  Watching the kid doesn't mean completely ignoring him while playing video games.  It also doesn't mean making a bed on the floor next to where he once was and falling asleep.
13.  If one has gross feet, one does not put said feet on couch/near my face/near baby's face.
14.  Is it normal for a baby to crap 5 times a day?  LORD.
15.  I might as well talk to myself even when hubby is home, cause he isn't listening.  Sometimes he doesn't even bother to smile and nod anymore.

I intended for that to be a short list.  I just couldn't stop myself.  And really, is any of that rage worthy?  Not really.  It's just annoying.  Proof that mommy needs a rub down, swaddle, and private nap in a dark & sound proof room.  A fruity, yet powerful, drink with a tiny umbrella would also help.