This morning marks the beginning of week 23. I am getting closer and closer to that important milestone known as viability. The magic point at which a hospital would attempt to save the baby if something were to happen. It's little details like this that I worry about but never tell the husband about. He doesn't need that thought lingering in his head when he is helpless to do anything about it.
But I digress. Pregnancy up to this point has been pretty good. The nausea and indigestion (especially in the first trimester) has been manageable. I have had a few moments where I thought something was wrong. Like when I pulled a groin muscle while doing yoga and had those extreme cramps. But for the most part I have pushed on and tried not to change my habits much despite my infertility anxiety. And it does seem to be true that the second trimester is easy. I almost feel completely normal.
Now we get to the fun part. Where I list my most important moments of the past 23 weeks. Those little memory nuggets that I hope to never forget.
1. Saturday, June 25th. I was at work at a kids event when I first started to put the pieces of the puzzle together in my head. It had almost been 2 weeks since the IUI and I felt like crap. When I got home I took my husband upstairs with me and took a pee test. He had the most bewildered expression on his face when I told him it was positive. I think he forgot how to breath for a few seconds.
2. Seeing the developing baby on our first ultrasound at Shady Grove Fertility. After the loss of the last pregnancy it was the most amazing thing to see. Proof that things were okay. Mongo was only 5 weeks along at that point, so there was no movement, but there was a heartbeat! A tiny primitive heart that was beating.
3. At 7 weeks I had my first appointment with an OB. It was a horrible experience and I changed Dr offices after what happened. But everything was fine and the OB Dr was wrong when he told me the baby was dead. This experience may have taken a couple of years off the end of my life with the stress of it all, but I never want to forget the way it made me realize how much I loved this baby even then.
4. Feeling those first tiny movements around week 11 or 12. Not sure when I first felt it because I kept telling myself it was gas. But it was Mongo. And it felt like tiny bumps and flutters.
5. The kicks. Wow. The difference a few weeks can make! Right around week 18 all those little bumps turned into definite kicks with some force behind them! It scared me at first.
6. Finding out that Mongo is a boy. We strongly suspected he was. But there's nothing like being told if your life will be all about mud pies or dance recitals! Morgan was so proud. He kept reaching over and squeezing my foot during the long ultrasound because he couldn't hug me. Although the baby skeleton did freak him out a little during the anatomy scan. Which was funny.
7. Week 22. I was sitting at my desk typing when Mongo kicked my side where my elbow was resting. I gave my stomach a good poke right where he had kicked me and a little foot returned a kick to my finger. We did this a few times as I marveled at our first mother/son interaction. Then it hit me like a freight train that I was really going to have a baby and the combination of pride and terror almost made me cry at work.
And that brings us to today. I'm nesting. Gathering baby things and outfits cautiously, but feeling like things are really going to be fine. Trying to pick out a name. Or more truthfully, trying to find a name that Morgan doesn't hate. Sorry, but despite what Morgan may want, Mongo will not be named Tiberius. Besides, I'm pretty sure Matt has first dibs on that one. Yes, I am serious.