Monday, December 12, 2011

Stress and Hormones

I'm going to do something here that I normally don't do. I'm going to talk openly about my MIL. See, my MIL is a very sick woman. Lupus, a bum knee, arthritis, chronic pain, etc. The list of all her ailments is long, surpassed only by the even longer list of medications she is on. And she has been in this slowly deteriorating situation for something like 15 years. In fact she has been saying since the day I met her a little over 8 years ago that she is going to die next week.

Hasn't happened yet.

Now combine her condition and heavy narcotic meds with the fact that she went through a horrible divorce and only has one child (my husband) to rely on for help. And I stole him away from her, just like that other woman stole her husband. I think you see where this is headed.

To say we don't have a very good relationship would be an understatement. And she has tried several times over the years to sabotage my relationship with my husband. Including when she called me up a week or so before our wedding and insinuated that Morgan was cheating on me. He wasn't. Or the time she tried to convince Morgan that I like to visit my friend in Cleveland by myself so I can sleep around in a different town where he will never find out about it. Which, no. You get the idea. She does not like to share her little boy.

"Why are you gonna have kids? I thought you didn't like kids! What good is you having a baby gonna do me? I can't hold the damn thing!" was her reaction when we told her a couple of years ago that we were going to start trying to get pregnant.

And now I am pregnant.

Surging hormones coupled with her behavior has led to a very toxic stew brewing in my gut. Now add the thousands of dollars she has "borrowed" from us in the last 3 months. The loan that just keeps getting higher as we help her transition from her old place to her new apartment, fix up her old place, and try to sell it for her. Money that we kinda need since we have an infant on the way and I'll be on maternity leave for 3 months, only half of which I'll be drawing a paycheck for. Oh- and she's been telling the family that we have done nothing to help her and she has no idea how she will make ends meet. Nice.

I feel like the majority of my pregnancy stress and hormone rages have been directed at her. I guess it's kinda a good thing as it means Morgan has not had to suffer any beyond watching me blow a gasket talking about his mom and her issues. He is equally frustrated with her, but doesn't have my way with words and gestures. It ain't pretty.

Long story short, I don't like the woman and I wouldn't be surprised at all if she lives to be 90. She ain't going anywhere anytime soon. And I needed to vent in my typical rambling fashion. Thanks. Sorry. Someone please come swaddle me and feed me hot cocoa.

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