One of us Still Works

Hey!  Looky here!  A post that doesn't involve my crotch parasite!

At the risk of jinxing it, things have been looking up for the hubby at work.  He's in line for one of several promotions.  He's the lone cubical slave that has been selected for training seminars and meetings for his region.  He has been requested multiple times to head projects and cross train others in what he does.  And to go along with these professional thingies he had to create a bio.  Like, a real bio.  Who he is, where he went to school, what he specializes in, what his hobbies are, and his family life.  And he needed a picture for said bio.  He asked me to take it for him.  Mehe.

Blah.  It's fine.  Nothing special.  He doesn't like it, but then he doesn't like any photos of himself.  But what you can't see is the rest of the outfit.  Short tie, tight sweatpants, barefoot.  This is what happens when you work from home.  I still think THIS should be his bio photo.

Professional Hobbit

That Was Nice

It's official.  I am a home bound person of the unemployed persuasion.

My last day of work was a good one.  CABL for the most part left me alone and stopped going thru the trash in my office to figure out if I was throwing away stuff they "might need someday".  You know, in case they decide to reverse their decision and the same property group keeps the mall and reopens the customer service department.

Packing up/throwing away everything you have worked on for 4 years is an oddly therapeutic process.  Everything that needed to be returned to the company fit into 58 boxes.  Those 58 boxes left on Thursday afternoon and I spent the rest of my day wandering around the mall and saying goodbye to people.

My coworkers surprised me and had a Going Away/Baby Shower just before the end of the day.  Cake, cards, and lots of laughs.  And Candace, using her skills, made some quick decorations.

The Welfare Mother Theme Shower

We had come up with this inappropriate idea earlier in the week that my baby shower in February should be "Welfare Mother" themed.  I know a lot of people would take offense to this, but with my wicked and sarcastic sense of humor I laughed my head off while coming up with ideas.  Candace ran with it.  So awesome!  I don't know if you can tell in this photo, but each letter has a different welfare image depicted on it.  WIC logos, Newport cigarettes, Old English malt liquor, food stamps, a trailer park, and government cheese!  This will so be hanging above the crib when we finish the nursery!

And now I get to focus on stuff I am really looking forward to.  Things I have been putting off because I just simply didn't have the time or energy to do them before.  Cleaning the house, reorganizing the pantry, preparing the nursery, and maybe even putting together some photo albums.  If you wanna hang out, just let me know!

The Plot Thickens

So I was laid off on Friday and have had several days now to get used to the idea.  Family and friends have been amazing in their support and trying to help me find the silver lining to this storm cloud.  The husband is freaking out over the situation a lot more than I am, but he'll get over it once the shock has worn off for him.

Now we get to the interesting part.  I'm still working till Thursday packing up everything that was part of my department and shipping it off to various locations.  Computers, manuals, stock and supplies, etc. So I am still there and hearing all the gossip and watching everyone who still has a job panic.  This is a very unique position to be in.  Awkward, yes.  But unique.  And things don't look good.

As previously posted - the company I work for defaulted on their loan for the mall.  Meaning the mall is for sale, but as far as we know there is no buyer at this time.  However, my company is completely abandoning the property.  Over the weekend anything on mall that had the property group name on it has disappeared.  No signs, door clings, floor clings, or anything else identifying the mall as being owned by them.  Soon we will no longer have our social media (facebook, twitter, foursquare) pages since they are linked thru this company.  Soon we will no longer have the website provided by the company.  Meaning that the marketing department has to build all of this from scratch on their own.

None of that is giving the still employed that warm and fuzzy safe feeling.  My work friend, Candace, is the marketing assistant and will be responsible for creating the new website, mall signs, everything.  She is job hunting.  She's pretty sure the writing on the wall is spelling the end of days for current employees.  Especially for her once she finishes creating these things since half of her job was backing up MY staff.  Therefore half of her job is gone and she really doesn't have much of anything to do all day long.

It will be fun watching from afar as things unfold.  Now I'm kinda thankful that I was the first to be let go as the panic of not knowing when/if my job is next has to be more stressful than what I'm going thru.

Ummmm. . . .Well Damn.

I was laid off today.  Well, not just me.  My entire department and all of my employees were let go today.  There is no more mall customer service.  No giftcards, Ticketmaster, kids club, etc.  The mall just simply won't have those kinds of things anymore.

Which means I am 7 & 1/2 months pregnant and unemployed.  No maternity leave.  No cashing out of my vacation and personal days I would earn come January 1st.  I do, thankfully, get 4 weeks of severance pay.  No word yet if I will get my year end bonus - but dammit I should since an entire year of work went into it!

I'm bummed.  Actually I would say I am more in shock at this point since I have never been fired/laid off before.  I'm not sure what to do with myself.  Unemployment will hopefully help once the severance runs out since there is no way in hell I can get a job when I am almost ready to pop with babiness.  But after that?  I just don't know.

I also feel really bad for all of my employees.  For them this was a part time job to help make ends meet.  Some of them needed the money more than others.  One of them is a single mom of four.  One of them is retired and not getting enough from her benefits to be able to pay all her bills.  And for this to be their reward for working their little butts off thru the holiday season is just wrong.  No severance for part time employees.  So any income they were depending on getting from here is gone in an instant.  I hope they can make it.

Things I Learned Yesterday

Morgan's Grandpa was awarded a Purple Heart.  He earned it when grenade shrapnel tore into his hip after it exploded near his canteen.  He was lucky in that there was a medic and a jeep very nearby at the time.  Otherwise he likely would have died, would have never come home to have 8 kids, never would have had grandkids, and I would have a different husband cause Morgan would not exist.

My CABL, in a quiet moment between the two of us in the office, admitted that she made a huge mistake in not listening to me about our staffing concerns.  She openly and very straight forward apologized for not listening to my advice earlier in the year and letting me take care of a situation with one of my employees by letting her go.  Had we done this one thing a domino effect of crap would not be haunting us right now.  She admitted that I was right.  OMG.

The owners of the mall I work at have defaulted on their loan.  Meaning that the mall is now for sale.  Meaning that sometime in the next 2 weeks to 3 years the mall will sell and reorganize.  This usually is no big deal, and for 90% of the mall staff it is still no big deal.  But my job position is not one always found on property at a mall.  The previous owners did not have a me.  The future owners might not want a me.  But I planned on job hunting like a mad woman while on maternity leave anyway, so lets just hope they don't find a buyer before I find a new job.

The last thing I learned yesterday is that my husband is still the worlds best baker of cookies.  And that even a very small quantity of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies can result in some stinky aftermath.

Hey December, Bring It!

disclaimer- I work retail and the holidays suck.

Black Friday went off without a hitch. Finally. 2 months of lead up to one moronic shopping event which then transitions to 4 weeks of having your brain slowly rot from listening to Christmas music 9 hours a day. Then you get off work sometime between 6 and 7pm (because customers won't leave the mall) on Christmas Eve and race to your family only to discover you have missed everyone and only your hippie Uncle is still there. It's what happens every year.

But this year will be different! Since the economy has tanked a few more of my relatives have become retail workers. This means there are 4 faces missing from the Christmas dinner table. This means I am no longer the only voice asking for our family to gather at some time OTHER than 3pm on Dec 24th. Praise the sweet baby Jesus that the Lord works in mysterious ways. Or something.

So my family is getting together on the actual day of Christmas, when all the stores are closed. For the first time in. . . I don't know, 12 years. . . I'm going to see ALL of my family on the holiday. I'll get to see them open their gifts. I'll get to see my younger cousins sneak beer in to my G-ma's house while everyone snickers and lets them think they're getting away with something. I get to see everyone, including my hippie Uncle before his 9th trip to the fruit plate.

YAY!

I Ramble On

This past week has been a really hard one. I'm so glad it's over.

Crazy Ass Boss Lady was in rare form this week. See, it's almost go time for the holiday season rush. And when you operate a mall, not just a store, the pressure can be a bit much. CABL is a Marketing Director. She is responsible for making the entire mall an attractive place to shop and bring your family. . . and she sucks at her job. I'm going to leave it at that and not proceed to write five paragraphs on the topic of her suckage. Just know that she blows and tends to take her frustrations out on others. It's fun.

But the week from hell is over! Next week looks to be equally stressful as our seasonal staff starts their training and I'm hosting our staff holiday meeting on Thursday. Somewhere between all of that, working till 9 every night, and organizing a 500 piece mailer I have my next prenatal appointment. Almost 6 months! Only 3 and 1/2 more months to go!

On the topic of baby - we picked up some more Craigslist stuff tonight. A snowsuit and a few other clothing items that are super cute for pretty darn cheap. Plus the woman we got the stuff from lives 3 blocks away from our favorite ice cream place, so YAY for an excuse to get ice cream!

Tomorrow Morgan's relatives that helped us move his mother into her new apartment are coming over for a November BBQ. Burgers, deviled eggs, chips, fruit, cake, etc. It's the least we can do to thank them for their time and efforts. Hopefully it goes well!

You Can Buy Funeral Supplies at Costco

I learned this little fact while shopping the Costco website for cookie packs to give away as tenant treats on Black Friday.  You can get caskets, urns, flowers, and other decorative funeral items at very reasonable prices.  Just make sure you order your casket by 12 noon to ensure timely delivery.  Not sure why, but this creeps me out so much.

I also learned, along with my work friend Candace, that our conversations in her office can be heard across the hall in the Director of Operations office.  There's a vent for the AC system that apparently has perfect acoustics.  Oh No.  Candace's office is where most of our bitch sessions take place.  So for the past few years that Director has learned QUITE a bit about us that we normally would not share with others in the office.  It's a good thing we both have a high opinion of this man and I'm sure he knows this by listening to our conversations.  Otherwise, he could easily get us both in a heap of trouble.  Nonetheless, I think we need to find a new location for our therapeutic venting sessions.

And now we have a very touchy subject.  I have an employee who I should have been allowed to fire about 3 months ago due to customer complaints about attitude.  However, Crazy Ass Boss Lady would not let me fire her at that time because she didn't want us to be short handed.  Now we have 3 employees we are getting ready to bring in as seasonal help.  Now she is on the bandwagon for firing the girl.  Now is NOT the time.  This poor woman just got back from Puerto Rico because her mom passed away.  She is grieving.  And CABL wants to fire her as soon as she returns to work.  After an entire day of CABL coming to me every hour with a different approach for letting this woman go, I put my foot down and said I won't be a part of it.  If we ignored her poor performance for 3 months, we can ignore it till we get another complaint about her.  And of course CABL can't get her own hands dirty with such things, so my employee is safe for now.  But damn.  How heartless is that?

And that's all for now, folks!  Let's hope the rest of this week goes by fast, eh?

Venting is Supposed to Make You Feel Better

We had a big kids event today.  A carnival themed kids event.  We had roughly 300 families come thru the two hour event.  Now I will list the reasons why today made me hate Crazy Ass Boss Lady even more.

1.  We started the event 10 minutes late because CABL disappeared and we couldn't open the event until all the stations were set up and ready.  That would include the one CABL was supposed to be working.

2.  The game that I was working, a Plinko style carnival game, was by far the most popular at the event.  Because of this people were using all of their carnival tickets with me instead of using one ticket at each station.  We had warned CABL that this would likely happen, she didn't listen to us and laughed at the idea that someone would skip other stations.  Well it happened, and I had no back up because she refused to plan for this.

3.  Despite CABL being the closest person to me.  Despite CABL hearing all the yelling going on at my station.  Despite the fact that the event was over and I still had a line 35 people deep.  She decided she was done working and went back to the office to eat her lunch instead of helping me.

4.  The prizes given away at my Plinko game were all inflated things.  I ran out of pre-inflated items and had to inflate each item as it was won.  I had to use a hand pump to do this.  A very difficult to use hand pump that requires MUCH force to use.  Which is something I should not be doing considering I am pregnant.  CABL was eating lunch.  Thank God one of my employees and eventually Candace came over to help and I didn't have to use the pump for too long.

5.  After staying at the event a good 40 minutes after it ended to get thru the line of people who wanted to use all of their tickets at the Plinko game, we were finally done.  CABL was still eating her lunch.

6.  Exhausted, thirsty, angry, and sweaty we all made our way back to the office to pack up and go home for the day.  CABL comes out of her office still chewing on something and asks how things went.  Apparently my death stare wasn't good enough of an explanation.

7.  I explained to CABL that I should not have been using that hand pump.  She didn't understand why me being pregnant would make any difference at all.  You know, cause her pregnancy was the most wonderful time of her life and she never had to do anything differently.  To which I reminded her that I have had complications in the past, that I am an infertility patient, and that I am following my Dr's suggestions very carefully.  She still didn't understand.

Yeah, that was my afternoon in a nutshell.  I still don't feel much better.  I would really enjoy my job and everything about it if only I had a different boss.  One that would listen to reason.  One that was just a little understanding.  One that was not crazy.  I can dream, can't I?

Frustration

I am a plus size pregnant lady.  It is very hard to find plus sized maternity clothes.  Very hard.  Especially since Old Navy just discontinued theirs and now only carries regular size maternity clothes.  Motherhood is one of the few stores I have been able to find that carries plus size maternity and I have picked up a few things from their last season clearance rack that I plan to wear once I get bigger.

So I was pretty happy this morning when I got an email from Motherhood saying their fall line of clothes has just become available and they have free shipping today.  Fall/Winter clothes are something I will need quite a bit of.  I have to keep up appearances in the office and would like to not wear the same 4 shirts over and over again.  I'm going to need some variety in my wardrobe.


Look at all the regular sized cute stuff!  These are just three examples of things that would be perfectly fine for me to wear to my office.  But none of them are available in plus size.


Oh for God's Sake!  First of all, I am very confused as to why a fat pregnant girl would want to wear horizontal stripes or a casino carpet pattern.  Second, why the lack of long sleeves?  I noticed this in the regular size girl section as well, but in the plus size section there are only a handful of long sleeve items for WINTER.

This would be one of those long sleeve items.  It is described as a Trapeze Maternity Tunic.  Translation = big ass tent of cotton with no style at all.

Why?

To Give You An Idea

Just to give you an inkling of what everyone in the office has to deal with.  Just to give you a glimmer of what Crazy Ass Boss Lady is like.  This is something I overheard her saying to the office receptionist yesterday.

"The toilet paper in the bathroom is really hard to get off the roll.  Like, it only lets me take a square or two at a time.  It's really annoying.  Look into that for me.  I don't know what you have to do, just fix it."

Back To Work

No one likes that first day back from vacation.  You just spent a week or whatever relaxing, maybe going on a trip, reading a book, and not even thinking about the work load you will be returning to.  Then that first day back comes and at some point that day you will look around you in disgust.  It's unavoidable.  I don't care what you do for a living.

Yesterday was my first day back.  I felt really good, well rested, upbeat.  Then my work friend Candace came to talk to me about a problem she had found.  A problem that made me feel so sick to my stomach that I wanted to march into my Crazy Ass Boss Lady's office and yell at her.  I didn't.  But that's how upset both Candace and I were about the issue.

What could be so horrible?  I don't want to bore you with mind numbing detail, but in a nut shell my CABL is a waster of money.  She is notorious for blowing our marketing budget every year.  She is incapable of making reasonable decisions when it comes to money.  I mean, this is the woman who bought a $600 comforter set for her potty training toddler and was proud of herself for finding such a great bargain.  I don't know about you, but I'm not spending that kind of money on something that is going to get pooped on.

Anyway, after 2 years of trying to get CABL to let Candace and I redesign our Santa arrival event (coming up Nov 5th) into something the kids will enjoy more, she finally agreed.  Which means we now have access to the budget files for that particular event.  Which means we now know just how much she has screwed the pooch every year on this ONE event.  For something that should cost X dollars, she has been spending 4 times that amount.  Money that could have been redirected toward other events, events we had to cancel, or even payroll for my employees so they can have more hours.  No wonder the guy who does the lame entertainment for Santa arrival is always so eager to make sure we have him scheduled months in advance.

So that was my moment of disgust yesterday.  I'm also shocked at just how close the holidays are.  For most people they don't have to start thinking about Christmas till mid November.  We have to have all of our holiday events planned and booked by the end of September.  Our first full staff holiday meeting is next week.  And I will start interviewing holiday seasonal hires in 3 weeks.  Wow.  Time flies.  It will be here and over with before you know it!  And then it'll be 2 more months till Mongo shows up!

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

The Good:
~  I'm pretty sure I am feeling baby movement!  No kicks.  Just flutters and bumps way down low.  I started having these feeling every now and then about a week or so ago.  I ignored it and kept telling myself it was too early.  But the movements have become more frequent and every so slightly stronger.  Squee!
~  We had a Back to School promotion at work.  Two $250 giftcards were the prizes, two winners.  One of those winners is my favorite customer!  He likes for us to call him Grandpa Ted, he likes to visit and talk to all the people in the mall, he is full of amazing stories.  He defected from from East Germany when he was 10, now in his 80's he is a widower, and he has been down on his luck lately.  I am so happy to see someone win the giftcard who actually NEEDS it.
~  The husband is away on a beach trip with the guys.  Which means I get to hog the tv, not watch ESPN, not have to cook, and sleep on that fluffy middle section of the bed.  Ahh, fluffy middle section.
The Bad:
~  I make lists way too often.  Not sure why I love lists so much.
~  The AC, or more accurately the whole car fan system, stopped working today.  Which means no AC, no heat, no defoggers/defrosters, and possibly no engine cooling fan.  Crap.
The Ugly:
~  Last Friday we noticed fire trucks, cop cars, rescue vehicles racing thru the neighborhood and stopping at one of the houses behind us.  We watched from our deck as people were running back and forth and shouting, but could not tell what was going on.  Today I talked to our neighbor to see if she knew what had happened.  A 4 year old drowned in the bathtub.  The kids (4 and 9) were visiting their grandma.  The 9 year old was watching the 4 year old while she took her bath.  Something happened and a 4 year old drowned.  Horrible.

Busy Little Bees

The past 2 weeks have been crazy busy.  But in a good way.  Now things should slow back down and return to normal.  And just in time too!  I leave to go on vacation for a week on this coming Friday.

Why so busy?
1.  I have a new hire I have been training for the past 2 weeks.  She seems like she will be a great employee.  Fast learner and very nice.  Exactly what we needed.

2.  My beloved employee that left us at the end of July, the one I made the checkerboard cake for, has returned to us.  Life working elsewhere didn't work out the way she had planned and we gladly welcomed her back.  Eagerly welcomed her back.  Not sure if she is completely happy about it, but at least we are helping each other out.  It's so good to have her back.

3.  Looks like my MIL will be moving into the retirement village she has been on a waiting list for 3 years to get into!  She has an appointment tomorrow to meet with the property management and tour the unit she will be living in.  Great news is that it's an end unit, all one floor, complete apartment.  Has a full kitchen and everything.  She will have to use the community laundry room, but it is right next to what will be her apartment.  She is naturally nervous about this huge change.  Hopefully her enthusiasm keeps up for a while so the packing and moving process won't overwhelm her.

4.  The hurricane was nothing for us.  We are far enough inland that all we got was some rain.  The freak thunderstorm we had 2 weeks ago was a hundred times worse than Irene.  So there are some benefits to living a bit further away from the coast.  Had I gotten my way and moved to the town I tried to convince Morgan to live in it would have been a completely different story.  That doesn't mean that we didn't spend 3 days at work preparing for the worst possible outcome.  I have never seen the company I work for act in such an organized manner.  It was nice to see, if not a little excessive considering our location.

5.  Crabs.  Oh, crabs.  Ryan had his annual crab feast on Saturday and the heavenly smell of crabs tortured me.  I should not eat crabs.  That whole mercury thing.  But I admit I did pick crabs for Morgan and did claim a few (okay, more than a few) crab claws to help hold back the bitter tears of a crab lover denied.  Seriously, I would take an old bay seasoned blue crab over chocolate ANY DAY.  And I got to play with the two puppies they adopted about a month ago.  So stinkin cute!  I love dogs!

So yeah.  Take that and add in computer issues at work, registers breaking, earthquake (after the fact) training, the odd work hours that come with employee training, my boss being out on vacation this past week, and a preseason football obsessed husband and you can see why I have not written much these past 2 weeks.  Ah, I can't wait for vacation!

Boom Goes the Dynamite

What a day.  What a great, fun, exciting day!  Lets make lists.  Cause I like lists.

1.  NT Ultrasound - Morgan came with me for the 12 week scan where they measure the back of the neck to check for Downs Syndrome and general anatomy.  Uncooperative baby = extra ultrasound time!  We got to watch for about 20 minutes as Mongo squirmed, kicked, and refused to roll over so they could see the back of the neck.  At one point Mongo had his arm bent back behind his head in "relax in your hammock" mode.  It was very exciting.  Mongo looks completely like a little human.  Morgan was so happy that he kept quietly reaching over to give my side little finger pokes during the ultrasound.  Everytime we saw something new an excited finger would jab me.  Oh - and everything looks fine as far as the neck measurement goes, once they finally got it.

2.  We got a call today from the state run retirement village my MIL applied to 3 years ago.  They finally have an opening!  Three years of waiting and they finally have an opening!  This is VERY good news!  She is currently playing phone tag with them, so cross your fingers for us.  This would be a definite step in the right direction for her.

3.  That earthquake thing.  Yeah, it was a big one.  I was in the middle of the mall when a loud booming noise started echoing through the entire building, followed shortly by some pretty vigorous shaking.  At first I thought our maintenance department was doing something with heavy machinery.  Didn't take long to figure out it was something else as the 2nd level bridges inside the mall were shaking and people were running towards the exits.  Plants swaying.  Things falling off shelves.  My employee was so startled that she grabbed me and held on tight till the shaking stopped.  Word spread pretty fast that it was an earthquake.  Phones didn't work, not even cell phones, but the internet still worked!  For this area a 5.8 is a huge quake.

Hump Day

Things that happened today, in no particular order.

1.  I had a sales meeting with an HR rep for one of the retirement villages I have been stalking.  My Crazy Ass Boss decided to come with me.  I wish she had not.  She told the HR rep features, offers, and testimonials that are wrong.  I shouldn't have to correct my boss in front of a potential client.  It's just wrong.  But in the end I think we left with a new business relationship.  So yay!

2.  The husband told me that he will get me an ipad if I gestate him a son.  I laughed and asked what I get if we are having a girl.  Nothing.  Only boy child comes with rewards.  Some day I will relay this story to our daughter.

3.  We have a problem at work, a problem from our home office.  Without going into too much detail, a key audit point is in dispute.  90% of our company is doing said audit point incorrectly.  We had a conference call (with the entire freakin company) today to discuss this problem.  Their solution?  Ummmmm.. . . .they don't have one?  Really?  They promised to think about it and maybe get us an answer by January.  Oh, but we need to be aware that auditors will be visiting properties for the next 2 months.  So many of us might fail.  Yay!

4.  It's getting hard to write this.  The husband is jealous of all the typie type and keeps reaching over to  hit random keys.  The delete button is my friend.  He wants you to know I am an oaf.

My Favorite Employee Has Left

This woman I speak of is one of the best employees I have ever had, period.  Out of every place I have ever worked she is #1 of the people I have hired and trained.  I am going to miss her like crazy and shake my fists in the air with frustration every time I find myself in a scheduling jam.  But, shit happens and this woman desperately needed a full time job.  Not the crappy 16 hours a week I was able to give her.  See, my company does not allow Guest Services to have full time employees.  Full time employees are due things like insurance, vacation time, all kinds of possible benefits.  My company does not like that.  It's why I am listed as a member of the Marketing staff instead.  It was the only way to get ONE full time member of management for that department.

To let this employee know how much I care and how much I am going to miss her like crazy I did what I always do.  I baked a cake.  A colorful and interesting cake to reflect her very unique personality.  A checkerboard cake.

Start with 2 rounds of different colors.  I went with green and pink.

Then find items you can use to cut the cakes into rings with.  I used a juice glass for the smallest ring and my triffle dish just happened to be the right size for cutting the larger ring.  Try to gently brush away the crumbs still sticking to the edges of the cuts to allow for a less messy assembly in the next step.

Now comes the fun part.  But also the part where you find yourself holding your breath a lot while you carry delicate rings of cake back and forth.  To reassemble the cake use your icing as glue.  Spread the thinnest layer of icing on the cut edges and snug the contrasting color ring into it.  Repeat for the top.

As you can probably tell, my cake layers are not even.  My oven seems to cook my cakes unevenly, even if I rotate the pans while cooking.  I fixed this issue by leveling things out on the top layer.  Just use a long blade knife, like a bread knife, to shave those top layers down to a normal looking cake dome once it is all assembled.  

And you are left with a checkerboard pattern when you slice the cake.  My now ex-employee was very surprised and really liked the cake.  And of course the office was thrilled that there was cake.  Because cake is awesome.